Life is full of so many challenges, and I love it.
Life is short.
I feel so lucky to be here, and I love this struggle that we’re all facing together. Here are a few of my current favorite challenges…
The challenge to keep my cool when people lie to my face, especially in politics.
- I’m not involved in politics for my own gain. I’m not in it for the “glory,” and I’m certainly not in it for the money. My salary is public record, and much of what I do is volunteer work. There are lots of late nights and early mornings. In reality, I’m in politics to help make a difference. To be actively involved in my neighborhood- to preserve the unique qualities of my community while changing us for the better.
The challenge to continually come up with fresh, creative ideas in the face of mirror images.
- Seeking inspiration from other creatives and from reflection in solitude is not easy. It requires a healthy dose of honesty and open-mindedness… and a realization that, yes, sometimes the truth hurts. Accepting it and using it to improve my craft is where the growth happens.
The challenge to remain youthful but make mature decisions.
- I feel an intense societal pressure to appear youthful but not act that way.
The challenge to continually market myself when sometimes I just want to be real with people.
- Yes, sometimes I take iPhone photos of my lattes. No, I usually don’t post them on social media because they don’t fit my “brand.” I used to try to take one of my cameras everywhere, so I could satisfy my urge to capture everything and still have the quality that I feel I need to post images. Having a transparent, integrated life sometimes makes me feel like a fraud, because my brand is ME, and while I have no problem posting selfies or unflattering photos of myself, I intentionally end up not sharing some of the more, well… not “picture-perfect” things that I’ve documented, as if it will somehow negatively effect my business. I need to remember that my clients know when I’m working and when I’m having fun, and taking non-professional photos when I’m not working isn’t an indication of what I can do when I am.
Here’s a phone photo of a beautiful flaming cocktail from my local distillery. The upside is that I’ll be doing photo work for them in the coming months, so I’ll have some professional photos, too. 🙂
The challenge to ignore the “haters” and remember that their problems are with themselves, and are not about me. I thought K-12 school was bad, but I had no idea about the adult business world.
- My personality is one that thrives off competition- it pushes me to be better and work harder. Some people don’t have that same instinct, and competition brings out the worst in them.
The challenge to remain positive and focused on the long game, when current situations make me feel defeated and hopeless.
- Especially in politics: when I’m fighting the good fight, and I know I’m going to lose, it’s difficult to stay optimistic and keep fighting. There are always going to be more fights to take on, and they’re often among the same people. It’s hard for me to lose with grace when my instinct is to go down swearing and swinging, leaving destruction in my wake. I usually end up defaulting to acting with grace in the hearing/meeting/consult, then crying out of anger in the car on the way home. Brian has received a brunt of my frustration after interactions like that. Thanks for the support, honey!
The challenge to keep growing and learning, stretching through the painful growth spurts, knowing there is a new version of myself waiting on the other side… and the simultaneous challenge of accepting and loving myself as I am, and at every step along the process.
- Balancing the desire to become better and acceptance for my current self is something I’ve always struggled with. I’ve always wanted to be stronger, smarter, and thinner, and it’s proving a good challenge to accept myself on every step of this journey.
The challenge to consistently motivate myself independently- as a business owner, as a distance runner, as a grad student. This skill is elusive but incredibly important.
- I’m reaching that wise age now (31, as of last week) where I realize that striving for self-motivation is worthy, but it’s also important to recognize when I need to ask for help. Sometimes I don’t want to read another scholarly article. Sometimes, I don’t want to go for a run. Sometimes, I don’t want to put myself out there in case people reject me or shut me down. It’s times like those that I’m thankful for my incredible support system who will bring me coffee and a cozy blanket with my homework, or give me the perfect pep talk, or get a manicure together, or put on their own running shoes and go with me.
The challenge to put aside my own worries and fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.
- First world problems. I have plenty of them. Today, I was fighting with myself about how miserable it is that my lipstick gets on my braces. I can’t believe that was worth complaining about. Braces and lipstick are both non-essentials. I’m lucky, I know it, and don’t want to waste my time complaining when I can spend my time using my gifts to help others who need it.
The challenge to stay focused on this current moment, to appreciate what I have. Where I am. Who I’m with.
- To put down my phone. It’s so hard. I feel like the world will fall apart, that my business will collapse, that there will be unrest in District Four, and it will be my fault. In reality, focusing on my current situation helps me to be better in all of my roles.
The challenge of properly deciding when to open my mouth and when to close it and smile.
- I like to talk. I’m still getting used to the whole “on the record” thing. I want to be like my friend, Mary, who thinks things through so thoughtfully before she speaks- and as a result, she says incredibly insightful things.
The challenge to stop fighting sleep- to know when to stop writing, stop editing, stop consuming… to turn off my devices and go to bed.
- Sometimes I feel like a little kid- I just don’t want to go to bed. I don’t know why I do this; I’m exhausted. I also love Jimmy Kimmel- that’s part of the problem. He’s so funny! Thursday nights are my favorite- they run his feature, This Week in Unnecessary Censorship. Hilarious.
The challenge to be social and friendly in a group setting, even when I’m just exhausted and I’d rather be secluded.
- Conferences and meetings are especially tough- I feel like my personality always has to be “on.” I need time to recharge, and I don’t have enough of it. Multiple days of forced extroversion can be exhausting, but I know that pushing myself outside of my comfort zone is where growth happens, and I’ve had many wonderful experiences when I’m tired but hung with a group, regardless. I really do love meeting new people.
The challenge to push myself creatively, to try new subjects, new medium, new locations.
- I’m going to try painting next. What’s the worst thing that can happen? The last time I tried shooting a new subject in a new style (food and beverages), I was blown out of the water. I couldn’t wait for my food photography and food styling classes, and I had a renewed excitement about shooting. All the colors and textures and movement just drew me right in, and I found myself shooting events and portraits with a new excitement, as well.
And, lastly, the challenge to summon the bravery required to continually remain transparent. Honest. To blog with you all about my hopes and my dreams. To share my failures and my successes. To shout my joys and whisper my hardships.
- Thank you for coming along on this journey. I appreciate you all!